Every evening I think of the things I meant to do, or the task I should do… now? No tomorrow… or soon at least! My name is Jamie and I am a procrastinator. I will jump out of bed when I realize I forgot to feed the cat or turn on the dishwasher. But when I realize I forgot to pay a bill or send an email, I figure that can wait. Except sometimes I forget… Then I deal with the consequences. I hold myself to a mix of high and low standards. I think it keeps me balanced. For example: High standards- wishing to enroll my daughter in gymnastics, drama, piano, and complete learning experiences from pinterest at home. Low standard- I’d much rather do ANYTHING but clean house, other than the basics. After all, the kids need my attention and they deserve it much more than the housework. I fully embrace the idea that my children (and others, as I run a daycare for income) must come first. Yet my procrastination always gets in the way. I intended to put the kiddos in gymnastics… I forgot to enroll them… and repeatedly procrastinated, until faced with the terrible regret of waking on the morning of what should have been their first class to realize I failed. I intend to enroll Love Bug in piano lessons… I’ve told her since she was 4 that I would… she’s 6. I finally found someone local. It felt like a great accomplishment! Then I drafted an email to her… and still haven’t hit send because I’m not certain I can actually get her to the lessons and pay for them without stressing out. This kind of crap drives me crazy all week long. Cleaning up at night so that the next day we’ll open a Daycare that looks acceptable, and we’ll have clean dishes to eat with. Good morning! Oh crap you forgot to do HW and pack the lunch last night… again!
But today was a wonderfully useless rainy Sunday. I intended to go to the store for a few items, and take the kiddos to see FireDad at the station. Then I awoke to a down pour. Upon opening Facebook... to see what I'd missed while sleeping... (I guess that's my excuse for this ridiculous habit!?) I saw a friend posted herself in the downpour, captioned "Local weather announcement... Don't leave bed unless absolutely necessary." Seemed like excellent advice; however, I would need to get Little Bear from his crib and fix breakfast. We opted to all snuggle for one more morning cartoon, and then have breakfast. Instead of weekend homemade pancakes, I grabbed the school-day frozen ones... and Little bear thought those still took too long to cook... in the microwave... for 60 seconds.
We played Legos, but mostly the kids played and I looked on while completing school work on the computer. A load of laundry was started, but not finished so I shall rewash it again tomorrow. Dishes were loaded into the dishwasher. Everyone was fed, even the pets. Warm and dry on this yucky day without the stresses of daycare and school buses... I got a migraine. Seriously?!? I decided this was an excellent excuse for the extremely rare Mommy nap.
I am super grateful that I taught my children (and they sometimes are able to demonstrate) what quiet time is! About an hour later I awoke again to realize I needed to get Little Bear up if I expected him to sleep at night... and to realize the migraine had only dulled during my slumber. Darn. Water, tea, and a snack, back on to work on the computer... My mom calls. It's Sunday, and FireDad is at work, she’d like to know if we would like to come over for dinner? Ummm, let me think... YES. I think I could drag us into the cold for a big bowl of homemade chicken and dumplings... that I don't have to cook! This my friends is one of two reasons I am willing to give up my thoughts of moving out of our hometown (the other of course is my in-laws free & fantastic babysitting!).
Once home with the kiddos tucked into bed (late… trying to not stress about that part), I again felt grateful that they were taking it easy on me. I took the computer into bed and flicked on the TV. Instead of my usual, catching up on favorite shows, I decided to watch a movie! I just realized I can watch any girlie movie I want while hubby is away! Mom’s Night Out sounds perfect. It was. (I am notorious for liking any movie I watch, as I so rarely watch a full movie, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.) While I’m sure it, as anything, could be nitpicked apart, I loved the fact that it was another mainstream example of how it is becoming socially acceptable to admit that being a mom is difficult. That being a mom is not all sunshine, rainbows and smiles. That being a mom comes with this weird sense of guilt about EVERYTHING! And finally, the movie ends and I am left reminded that even if I do not get Love Bug into every class I’d like, or my home is not in perfect order daily, or I cannot afford to eat everything completely homemade or organic, I am still doing a great job keeping my kiddos happy, healthy, and loved... and isn’t that what really matters? To me at least.
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